WOW.... thats about all I can say. Its hard to believe that my 1/2 scan is this week. The time has gone by a lot faster than I expected, but man am I going through the ringer. All weekend I have wanted to blog, but not had the energy. I had another breakdown over the weekend as well. This all really sucks! It seems when im good, im really quite good, but when im bad... OMG watch out!!
So hence the roller coaster I would like to get off. I didn't realize how cyclic everything would be. |But my life right now is exactly like living on a roller coaster, but I cant get off of it yet. Big ups followed by the crashes towards earth going 100 mph and screaming for dear life, only to get lifted up once again. Its really tough to live your life whilst on a roller coaster. At least I know when the ups and downs should be, so I can try to accommodate my life around those.
The fatigue is lasting longer these days, which really sucks. Instead of a bad Saturday, I now have a bad weekend :( This is not fair to me or my family, but we deal. (or in my case I flip out and start throwing things and banging doors and acting like a 3 year old!) But I found it helped to let out the anger and cry for a while. Needed a release I suppose!
Heading over to the mainland on Thursday for my PET scan. I know a lot of people get really anxious at this point, but so far im chill. I|f its a bad scan we move on the plan B, if its good it means 2 more months on the roller coaster. But I find to worry about it will solve nothing, probably just make me crazy, so why bother worrying about something you can\t change!
Hubby is taking me over and we are going to stay overnight. For one it will be nice to escape for a night, 2, we are bringing my sister home for thanksgiving, 3, its too long of a day for me to go over, get my scan, get back on one day!!
\Hope to get some shopping in while we are in the city, and maybe hit up the casino if I feel up to it! Then we will come home and have a nice thanksgiving weekend!
Ok, I think thats all for now... the roller coaster has already crashed down so now we are making our war back up to the top!
I will be thinking about you tomorrow as we get our scans!! You are right, it is such a roller coaster. I love how you described yourself as a 3-year-old, as I feel like that a lot too. I just wish the fatigue wasn't so bad...that is what turns me into a monster! Have an awesome time in the city! I hope you get to gamble and shop and have a wonderful time. Here's to good PET scans tomorrow!!
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