As good as we could have hoped :)

We had a pretty good visit with the oncologist today. I was staged 2a just as I had anticipated. He informed us that my cure rate is greater than 90%. I couldn't really ask for a better prognosis :)

My treatment will start in a couple of weeks, so hubby and I are able to escape for a week before I start. When I mentioned we wanted to go away before treatment he was good with it. Told me to let the other hospital (where I will be treated) know when they phone when I am available to start!

The treatment will be 4 cycles of ABVD chemotherapy. After 2 cycles I get a PET scan, and if its clear we finish with the last 2 and I am done!! The thing that surprised me about the chemo is that I recieve treatment on day 1 and day 15, and that makes up my first cycle. Only 2 actual days of treatment each cycle!! I was stoked to learn this! (can't you tell)

So early next week me and hubby take off for a week of relaxation. Needless to say I might not be blogging much!!

A little nervous

I have my first oncology appointment tomorrow. Hard to explain how I feel. I am very nervous as they have not staged me yet. I have my guesses, but who really knows what they will say!! I figure we will go over a plan for treatment as well which kinda freaks me out. To talk about treating this actually means I can't run and pretend its going to go away. I am going to have to face reality, as much as it really does suck.

On a side note, my hubby and I talked today, and have decided that once I start treatment, we are going to shave my head with the kids. We think it will be less traumatic for them if we just shave it instead of it all falling out in clumps. My thoughts were to just cut it short, but he thinks shaving it will be more fun. I think he just wants to shave my head, lol...

Anyways, I will update this tomorrow after my appoinment. We are really hoping I have a week or two before I start treatment for some very selfish reasons... we want to go on one last holiday before I start treament!! The original plan was the last 2 weeks of august, but that will probably not be an option, so now we are hoping for maybe a week right now. Guess we will find out tomorrow!!

Angry (just need to vent)

Im having a very angry day. No reason in particular, just really pissed off about this foreign body in me trying to kill me. Not that I have any plans what so ever in letting it suceed, im just really pissed off at it right now. Why me? What did I do? Did I some how deserve to be put through this? All questions running through my head as I get pissed off at the cancer. I didnt invite it, I didnt want it, but I got it anyways. So now im going to do everything I can to book its ass out the door where it came from. I dont need it in my life, I dont want it in my life, so I must get it out fo my life!

One of my concerns going to the future is how I will be defined. It appears that once you have cancer, you are always defined by it. I dont want to be. Maybe thats why we are not telling the whole world I have cancer. The less people know, the less they will judge and apply the cancer label to me. I know things may get tougher as I get treament, might be harder to 'hide'. Might have to let the whole world in and see what happens. But for now I will still try to be me, and not the 'mom with cancer'

The waiting game...

there will be a lot of that in the months to come I understand. Right now I am waiting for my first oncology appoinment to find out EXACTLY what I am dealing/faced with. So far I know I have hodgkins lymphoma, nodular sclerosing. Thats all I have been told. So I have been doing lots of research, joining forums, and whatever else I can do to try to prepare myself for the journey I am about to/just have embarked on. Not a journey that I ever thought I would have to take, but who does... cancer seems to attack anyone it wants for no real reason in a lot of cases. Mine is one of those, no one know what causes HL, just one of the 'luck of the draws' I guess.
 Dealing with this has not been easy though... still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I have cancer. I have a very supportive family which is great, but im the type that doesnt want to burden them with all the thoughts going around in my head. Its a terrifying place to be right now, and trying to sort out the rational and irrational fears surrounding my diagnosis has been difficult.
Im going to leave this post on one final note... never tell anyone with HL they have the 'good cancer'. This is a common response because it has a good treatment outcome with most cases. Not ALL cases... and just because the treatment is highly successful doesnt mean the treatment is good. From everything I have read so far, it sucks, big time.