So today was my day of needles... I am really starting to hate needles, and they apparently feel the same way.
Start off the morning getting to the hospital and hanging out in the unit for a bit while we wait for procedures. Nurse comes in, who was super nice, and wants to do blood work... of course she does, lol. I warn her about my veins so she warms me up and then starts looking. Its never a good sign when she says she has not seen a case as bad as mine in a while. Well that's reassuring isn't it. So she tries in the elbow crease... no go... switches to the hand... no go... she is done trying. So the Dr. comes in to do the bone marrow biopsy and aspiration, and the nurse sees if yesterdays blood work will do. Dr. gets all set up, freezes the crap out of my butt, which does sting a little, but not too bad. Proceeds to do the aspiration part is where they put the needle in your bone and take out fluid, this really hurt, like screamed out a few times painful. Then it was time for the biopsy part when they take some of your bone. Well guess what, this was extremely painful as well, I was crying by the end of it. Not too sure why mine was so painful compared to other stories but it was. Hope like hell I never have to do that again. I even had morphine and Ativan before hand which didn't seem to help a bit. So after they are done their torture I get to lay awkwardly for 45 minutes on a hard pack so we don't have bleeding issues... no issues there.
Then another nurse comes in with the blood work cart and apologizes, we do need different blood for today. Luckily she was able to get a vein with a bit of digging and maneuvering, just as she was about to give up. Boy to my veins suck, did I mention that yet? LOL At least she was able to get what she needed.
Had a bit of time before the Lumbar Puncture so we watched some TV and ate lunch in the room. 12:30 the next Dr. comes in and asks if I'm ready. Yep, sure, lets do this thing.
So I lie on my side curled into a tiny ball when he presses and probes my spine, satisfied he tells me to relax while he gets prepared. After preparations its back into my little ball as far as I can. He walks me through what he is doing, prepping with the cleaning stuff, then its time for the freezing. This freezing stings more than the other stuff, but I think it also worked better. He puts the needle in, gets his fluid out. Puts another needle in and injects some chemotherapy into my spine. And then he is done. Pretty painless this time around. Then I get to lay on my stomach for 45 minutes so the chemo can work its way up to the brain.
In case your wondering why they are injecting chemo into my spine, its in case there are any pesky cells floating in there that regular chemo cant get to do to the blood-brain barrier. Pretty cool stuff.
So now I am laying in the hotel bed thankful today is over and that tomorrow is just a day on consults. I have a sore gluteus maximus which makes sitting and laying down awkward and uncomfortable. But we did get out for a nice little walk around the hotel in the sun after dinner, so that was a nice way to end a day that had a rough start.
As always, thanks for reading and joining me on my journey :)
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Doing better
So after my breaking point, spent most of the day and evening with the water works... it was to be expected at some point, but it was also therapeutic and since then have been feeling pretty good.
Enjoyed the last three days with no tests to worry about, just giving myself my Fragmin shot every morning, which is getting easier to do each day!
Had a great time on Friday with my son's class at the field trip to the beach. Got to sit back, relax, and chat with great people all while watching all the kids have a blast. It wasn't the nicest day, but the rain held off so that's all we can ask for some days.
Tomorrow is a busy day. Start off my having to do 3 shots to make a 1/2 dose, sounds lovely for sure. Then is off to the hospital for blood work and a CT scan. Luckily this time if an IV is not possible we are just doing the oral contrast and will leave it at that. I am still pretty battered and bruised from last week so we will see. After the CT its time to head over to Vancouver. Tuesday I have my BMB (bone marrow biopsy) and Lumbar puncture. Wednesday I have dental x-rays, dental consult, thrombosis consult due to the blood clot, and then my consult with the apheresis unit.
Due to the fact that my veins suck so bad we have changed my dates a little. Still getting my Hickman trifusion line on the 8th, but now the stem cell collection will follow so we don't have to use my arms. The collection was moved a week but my admission date was only moved by a couple days so we are not too far off of schedule!
Hope to update after my appointments if I feel up to it!
Enjoyed the last three days with no tests to worry about, just giving myself my Fragmin shot every morning, which is getting easier to do each day!
Had a great time on Friday with my son's class at the field trip to the beach. Got to sit back, relax, and chat with great people all while watching all the kids have a blast. It wasn't the nicest day, but the rain held off so that's all we can ask for some days.
Tomorrow is a busy day. Start off my having to do 3 shots to make a 1/2 dose, sounds lovely for sure. Then is off to the hospital for blood work and a CT scan. Luckily this time if an IV is not possible we are just doing the oral contrast and will leave it at that. I am still pretty battered and bruised from last week so we will see. After the CT its time to head over to Vancouver. Tuesday I have my BMB (bone marrow biopsy) and Lumbar puncture. Wednesday I have dental x-rays, dental consult, thrombosis consult due to the blood clot, and then my consult with the apheresis unit.
Due to the fact that my veins suck so bad we have changed my dates a little. Still getting my Hickman trifusion line on the 8th, but now the stem cell collection will follow so we don't have to use my arms. The collection was moved a week but my admission date was only moved by a couple days so we are not too far off of schedule!
Hope to update after my appointments if I feel up to it!
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Found my breaking point
I new it was a matter of time with all the shit going on in my life right now. I can't talk about it all, as some things are to remain private, but with the toll everything had taken on me today I lost it.
They have found a blood clot in my arm where the PICC line was, that was ok, we have started blood thinner injections and it can be controlled and hopefully resolved that way. Well this morning I went to the ER to get my lovely injection (not able to do it to myself, at least not yet, something about causing myself pain with needles doesn't work with me mentally, lol), and I mention that my breathing is a little different, hurts a bit to breathe deeply and weird random chest pains. So they take me in and do and EKG, all looks good there. Dr figures maybe the clot is embolising in my lungs a bit, but since treatment would be what I am doing that unless things get extreme we will just see how things go. No problem. Thought this might be the breaking point didn't you... nope, not yet.
So after this I have my lung function test... well after talking with the person who does it, she consults with my Vancouver team and they decide to postpone it until we know if anything is going on in my lungs. So I get the phone call on the way home that they want to do a PE (pulmonary embolism ) CT scan. Ok, no problem, still doing fine.
Go back to the hospital for the 3rd time today. Warn the tech I have bad veins, no problem... she tried once and decided to get the full-time guy who was on supervisor duty that day to try as he is much better than her... no problem. He tries the same vein, no luck, catheter would not feed up into the vein once he got it. After some pain and digging he gives up. Asks about the other side, where the clot is... Im not sure if we can use it I tell him. Consults with the radiologist, they decide if they can find a good vein there is it should be fine to use it... so we heat up that side, find a nice juicy vein and he gets it... or so we thought... no blood return... try the saline flush again... ouch... im in extreme pain all of a sudden... the vein is gone...
I lost it... nothing like lying on a stretcher crying because they cant get a stupid vein. This is what has put me over the edge, my mind has said no more.
Luckily the radiologist and my Vancouver team both agreed enough. The radiologist is quite sure we are not dealing with a PE so we can wait till Monday to do this study with my regular CT scheduled. They are booking me into the chemo nurse to try to get the IV that day. If it doesn't work again, we will put it on hold till I get a line in while im in Vancouver and do it then.
So who knew it would be something as stupid and not getting a vein in to push me over, I sure didn't, lol... but I think Im about done with all these little extra crappy things on top of everything else right now.
They have found a blood clot in my arm where the PICC line was, that was ok, we have started blood thinner injections and it can be controlled and hopefully resolved that way. Well this morning I went to the ER to get my lovely injection (not able to do it to myself, at least not yet, something about causing myself pain with needles doesn't work with me mentally, lol), and I mention that my breathing is a little different, hurts a bit to breathe deeply and weird random chest pains. So they take me in and do and EKG, all looks good there. Dr figures maybe the clot is embolising in my lungs a bit, but since treatment would be what I am doing that unless things get extreme we will just see how things go. No problem. Thought this might be the breaking point didn't you... nope, not yet.
So after this I have my lung function test... well after talking with the person who does it, she consults with my Vancouver team and they decide to postpone it until we know if anything is going on in my lungs. So I get the phone call on the way home that they want to do a PE (pulmonary embolism ) CT scan. Ok, no problem, still doing fine.
Go back to the hospital for the 3rd time today. Warn the tech I have bad veins, no problem... she tried once and decided to get the full-time guy who was on supervisor duty that day to try as he is much better than her... no problem. He tries the same vein, no luck, catheter would not feed up into the vein once he got it. After some pain and digging he gives up. Asks about the other side, where the clot is... Im not sure if we can use it I tell him. Consults with the radiologist, they decide if they can find a good vein there is it should be fine to use it... so we heat up that side, find a nice juicy vein and he gets it... or so we thought... no blood return... try the saline flush again... ouch... im in extreme pain all of a sudden... the vein is gone...
I lost it... nothing like lying on a stretcher crying because they cant get a stupid vein. This is what has put me over the edge, my mind has said no more.
Luckily the radiologist and my Vancouver team both agreed enough. The radiologist is quite sure we are not dealing with a PE so we can wait till Monday to do this study with my regular CT scheduled. They are booking me into the chemo nurse to try to get the IV that day. If it doesn't work again, we will put it on hold till I get a line in while im in Vancouver and do it then.
So who knew it would be something as stupid and not getting a vein in to push me over, I sure didn't, lol... but I think Im about done with all these little extra crappy things on top of everything else right now.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Outpatient chemo complete... with a trip to ER
So I will start with the good news, I am now done my GDP chemo... yeehaa!! No more chemo till I hit Vancouver as an impatient. Im sure I will enjoy these next couple weeks to the fullest (in between the mountain of tests and appointments that is)
And now for the not so good, spent the morning in the ER. Since my last chemo on Thursday, my arm has gotten increasingly sore, especially when I tried to straighten it out. So after the past two days of pain and not using my arm I decided I should get it checked out as things were no better. So off to the ER on a beautiful Saturday morning I go. When I get there I explain the pain, they do blood cultures out of the PICC and out of my other arm for comparison. Those results will take a few days to see if an infection has popped up, but there are no visible signs of one. Arm is just a little swollen. Since the PICC is not longer necessary, just holding on to it for a CT, we decided it was best to remove it. Now, getting the line in was agony, getting it out was a breeze until the nurse had to apply pressure to the wound. OOUCH!!! Did I mention how sore my arm was to start with!! Yep, that part was painful.
So now I am PICC less, still covered in bruises from the original insertion (black and blue still!) and not sure what happened to cause the pain but just hope that the removal solved the problems. Still a little tender now, so we shall see in a few days how it feels.
Monday and Tuesday this week are pretty uneventful days, Wednesday I have the lung function test and Thursday I have the Heart tests. Will update with those procedures as they happen.
Now to go and enjoy the rest of my day :)
And now for the not so good, spent the morning in the ER. Since my last chemo on Thursday, my arm has gotten increasingly sore, especially when I tried to straighten it out. So after the past two days of pain and not using my arm I decided I should get it checked out as things were no better. So off to the ER on a beautiful Saturday morning I go. When I get there I explain the pain, they do blood cultures out of the PICC and out of my other arm for comparison. Those results will take a few days to see if an infection has popped up, but there are no visible signs of one. Arm is just a little swollen. Since the PICC is not longer necessary, just holding on to it for a CT, we decided it was best to remove it. Now, getting the line in was agony, getting it out was a breeze until the nurse had to apply pressure to the wound. OOUCH!!! Did I mention how sore my arm was to start with!! Yep, that part was painful.
So now I am PICC less, still covered in bruises from the original insertion (black and blue still!) and not sure what happened to cause the pain but just hope that the removal solved the problems. Still a little tender now, so we shall see in a few days how it feels.
Monday and Tuesday this week are pretty uneventful days, Wednesday I have the lung function test and Thursday I have the Heart tests. Will update with those procedures as they happen.
Now to go and enjoy the rest of my day :)
Here is what the arm looks like right now!
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Cycle 2, day 1
Only one more of these to go and its the 'easier' of the two!!! Excited that we are almost done this part and getting terrified about whats to come, but im not going to dwell on that.
I am strong, I will get through it, just kinda scary going into all the unknowns. I did chemo before so it was pretty easy to be cool with that route again. Been there, done that, no worries. I will save the worries for later, or I will get rid of them. Either way I WILL fight this nasty ass disease once again and I WILL beat it again. Just takes a bigger stick, right?
So onto my actual treatment today... have I mentioned how much I love my PICC line now im not in constant pain from it! Its wonderful, so easy... quick and painless hook-ups to the ivs... definitely a good way to go if you ever have the need.
It was the 'nasty' one today, so it took longer, just under 3 hours start to finish. Still way shorter than ABVD though! Felt pretty good all day but now the tiredness is kicking in. It will stick around for the next 3-5 days im guessing like last time... odd effect for me as the steroid they give me (Decadron) is supposed to cause energy and wakefulness.... I am the opposite, but we all know how special I am anyways, lol.
Ok, getting hard to type things with out messing up the words everywhere so I am heading off for the night...
Just wanted to thank all the people who take the time to read this, and if you are fighting along side me remember that we WILL kick cancers ass!!
I am strong, I will get through it, just kinda scary going into all the unknowns. I did chemo before so it was pretty easy to be cool with that route again. Been there, done that, no worries. I will save the worries for later, or I will get rid of them. Either way I WILL fight this nasty ass disease once again and I WILL beat it again. Just takes a bigger stick, right?
So onto my actual treatment today... have I mentioned how much I love my PICC line now im not in constant pain from it! Its wonderful, so easy... quick and painless hook-ups to the ivs... definitely a good way to go if you ever have the need.
It was the 'nasty' one today, so it took longer, just under 3 hours start to finish. Still way shorter than ABVD though! Felt pretty good all day but now the tiredness is kicking in. It will stick around for the next 3-5 days im guessing like last time... odd effect for me as the steroid they give me (Decadron) is supposed to cause energy and wakefulness.... I am the opposite, but we all know how special I am anyways, lol.
Ok, getting hard to type things with out messing up the words everywhere so I am heading off for the night...
Just wanted to thank all the people who take the time to read this, and if you are fighting along side me remember that we WILL kick cancers ass!!
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Pre-cycle 2 doctor appointment
Had my check-up with the oncology doctor who oversees where I get my treatment today. (if you have been paying attention you will have noticed this is the 3rd oncologist I am dealing with this time around, last time I just had the two)
So the check-up went pretty well. We discussed the side effects I have been dealing with, was told that I could have a prescription cream for the face reaction I have been getting but I didn't think it was necessary as it doesn't bother me, just looks horrible. We are going to up the pre-chemo meds to help with the nausea I experience afterwards for a few days. The last couple days I have also had a dry cough in the mornings and some shortness of breath while doing things like walking up hills so we also did a chest x-ray as a precaution, although my lungs sounded fine.
So my afternoon was 4 waiting rooms for all my different appointments, as I had to do blood work today as well!
So if anything comes up on the x-ray I will get a call tomorrow, if not we proceed with my next chemo on Thursday... the bad one :(
I found the perfect shirt while cruising the web one day, really wish I had one of these:
So the check-up went pretty well. We discussed the side effects I have been dealing with, was told that I could have a prescription cream for the face reaction I have been getting but I didn't think it was necessary as it doesn't bother me, just looks horrible. We are going to up the pre-chemo meds to help with the nausea I experience afterwards for a few days. The last couple days I have also had a dry cough in the mornings and some shortness of breath while doing things like walking up hills so we also did a chest x-ray as a precaution, although my lungs sounded fine.
So my afternoon was 4 waiting rooms for all my different appointments, as I had to do blood work today as well!
So if anything comes up on the x-ray I will get a call tomorrow, if not we proceed with my next chemo on Thursday... the bad one :(
I found the perfect shirt while cruising the web one day, really wish I had one of these:
Says it all dont you think!!
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