So thats what I have been up to. Quite honestly im getting tired of the same type of blogs coming out. Its good, then bad, repeat. Its annoying to write, so im sure its annoying to read! So im not blogging as much. I am getting through the bad days as best I can, and trying to enjoy my good days to the fullest.
So in part of those good days, I went to vancouver with my hubby for the night. He was going work related, so I just tagged along. We had a great night last night watching the hockey game, even though our beloved Canucks didn't win. We were glad we didnt end up forking over way too much money for tickets though. We would love to go and see a game, but for some reason has super expensive tickets!|So we watched the game and had dinner instead. It was nice to get out, and not too overwhelming (well it was as first when it was super busy when we arrived, but it did quiet down as people left to go to the game, since we were only a couple blocks away from all the action)
This morning I woke up and relaxed a little, then went over to the shopping center for a couple hours. It was nice to get out and feel human, especially since my rough days are getting rougher! We stayed at an amazing hotel, and that was a great experience itself!
So im just heading into my good week, and I feel pretty darn good... might try to do something fun this weekend as well!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Past the half-way mark!
Yeah!! 5 down, 3 to go... I CAN DO THIS!!!
I had issues with my veins again. Starting to argue with my nurses a little about it. They are insisting that my veins are not going to make it. They want a PICC line or a port installed. I do not want either of these. I dont want the PICC because the dressing need changed every week, and handling the appointments I currently have is enough. The port I do not want because its more surgery. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!! So this is now a little battle. I keep reminding them I onlt have 3 treatments left. I do not need these things. Just deal with the veins I have! My nurse yesterday was really bad. And she didnt listen to me. Not helpful. I have 4 pokes in my arm this time. Im not sure what she was thinking to begin with. My cocktail is very strong and needs a good vein to start with. When she put the warm towel on to start, it was over my hand, so I mentioned we go up the arm, and showed her how high. |So she moved the towel a bit and just said it all had to get warm anyways. So I show her the area we need to find a vein. She did 2 pokes with no success, so then goes lower and pokes me. I then have to tell her again we cannot go that low because it causes the intense arm pain for a week a week after treatment! So finally she calls the other nurse over, who checks both sides, finds the side she like best, and with one poke is in a good higher vein! I am getting really annoyed with the nurses who dont know where to go or refuse to let anyone else try before they do. As far as im concerned, leave it to the ones who know where my veins are. Grrr... just had to vent a bit there!
So, 3 more treatments, then I learn the follow-up plan, which sounds pretty intensive for at least the first year, which is great, and I will be closely watched for the rest of my life! Looking forward to a big celebration when all is said and done, including a trip to the tropics in the new year if everything works out with babysitters!
I had issues with my veins again. Starting to argue with my nurses a little about it. They are insisting that my veins are not going to make it. They want a PICC line or a port installed. I do not want either of these. I dont want the PICC because the dressing need changed every week, and handling the appointments I currently have is enough. The port I do not want because its more surgery. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!! So this is now a little battle. I keep reminding them I onlt have 3 treatments left. I do not need these things. Just deal with the veins I have! My nurse yesterday was really bad. And she didnt listen to me. Not helpful. I have 4 pokes in my arm this time. Im not sure what she was thinking to begin with. My cocktail is very strong and needs a good vein to start with. When she put the warm towel on to start, it was over my hand, so I mentioned we go up the arm, and showed her how high. |So she moved the towel a bit and just said it all had to get warm anyways. So I show her the area we need to find a vein. She did 2 pokes with no success, so then goes lower and pokes me. I then have to tell her again we cannot go that low because it causes the intense arm pain for a week a week after treatment! So finally she calls the other nurse over, who checks both sides, finds the side she like best, and with one poke is in a good higher vein! I am getting really annoyed with the nurses who dont know where to go or refuse to let anyone else try before they do. As far as im concerned, leave it to the ones who know where my veins are. Grrr... just had to vent a bit there!
So, 3 more treatments, then I learn the follow-up plan, which sounds pretty intensive for at least the first year, which is great, and I will be closely watched for the rest of my life! Looking forward to a big celebration when all is said and done, including a trip to the tropics in the new year if everything works out with babysitters!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Doing the happy dance!
That sums up today!
Went to the dr. for my pre-cycle check up and PET results. The scan was clean! No signs on cancer! Can you say WooHoo!!!
So now we just keep on the same plan, 2 more cycles of chemo (4 treatments, 2 more months) and I am done!
Its nice to know that all this crap I have been going through is working! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. It is a bright, shining light that says your done!
Dinner is ready so im keeping this short!
Chemo again tomorrow... but its worth it!!!
Went to the dr. for my pre-cycle check up and PET results. The scan was clean! No signs on cancer! Can you say WooHoo!!!
So now we just keep on the same plan, 2 more cycles of chemo (4 treatments, 2 more months) and I am done!
Its nice to know that all this crap I have been going through is working! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. It is a bright, shining light that says your done!
Dinner is ready so im keeping this short!
Chemo again tomorrow... but its worth it!!!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Can I get off the rollercoaster now?
WOW.... thats about all I can say. Its hard to believe that my 1/2 scan is this week. The time has gone by a lot faster than I expected, but man am I going through the ringer. All weekend I have wanted to blog, but not had the energy. I had another breakdown over the weekend as well. This all really sucks! It seems when im good, im really quite good, but when im bad... OMG watch out!!
So hence the roller coaster I would like to get off. I didn't realize how cyclic everything would be. |But my life right now is exactly like living on a roller coaster, but I cant get off of it yet. Big ups followed by the crashes towards earth going 100 mph and screaming for dear life, only to get lifted up once again. Its really tough to live your life whilst on a roller coaster. At least I know when the ups and downs should be, so I can try to accommodate my life around those.
The fatigue is lasting longer these days, which really sucks. Instead of a bad Saturday, I now have a bad weekend :( This is not fair to me or my family, but we deal. (or in my case I flip out and start throwing things and banging doors and acting like a 3 year old!) But I found it helped to let out the anger and cry for a while. Needed a release I suppose!
Heading over to the mainland on Thursday for my PET scan. I know a lot of people get really anxious at this point, but so far im chill. I|f its a bad scan we move on the plan B, if its good it means 2 more months on the roller coaster. But I find to worry about it will solve nothing, probably just make me crazy, so why bother worrying about something you can\t change!
Hubby is taking me over and we are going to stay overnight. For one it will be nice to escape for a night, 2, we are bringing my sister home for thanksgiving, 3, its too long of a day for me to go over, get my scan, get back on one day!!
\Hope to get some shopping in while we are in the city, and maybe hit up the casino if I feel up to it! Then we will come home and have a nice thanksgiving weekend!
Ok, I think thats all for now... the roller coaster has already crashed down so now we are making our war back up to the top!
So hence the roller coaster I would like to get off. I didn't realize how cyclic everything would be. |But my life right now is exactly like living on a roller coaster, but I cant get off of it yet. Big ups followed by the crashes towards earth going 100 mph and screaming for dear life, only to get lifted up once again. Its really tough to live your life whilst on a roller coaster. At least I know when the ups and downs should be, so I can try to accommodate my life around those.
The fatigue is lasting longer these days, which really sucks. Instead of a bad Saturday, I now have a bad weekend :( This is not fair to me or my family, but we deal. (or in my case I flip out and start throwing things and banging doors and acting like a 3 year old!) But I found it helped to let out the anger and cry for a while. Needed a release I suppose!
Heading over to the mainland on Thursday for my PET scan. I know a lot of people get really anxious at this point, but so far im chill. I|f its a bad scan we move on the plan B, if its good it means 2 more months on the roller coaster. But I find to worry about it will solve nothing, probably just make me crazy, so why bother worrying about something you can\t change!
Hubby is taking me over and we are going to stay overnight. For one it will be nice to escape for a night, 2, we are bringing my sister home for thanksgiving, 3, its too long of a day for me to go over, get my scan, get back on one day!!
\Hope to get some shopping in while we are in the city, and maybe hit up the casino if I feel up to it! Then we will come home and have a nice thanksgiving weekend!
Ok, I think thats all for now... the roller coaster has already crashed down so now we are making our war back up to the top!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
I made it to my 1/2 way mark!!
Woohoo!!!!
Half way done killing this beast inside me!
Treatment today was not as smooth as my other times. My veins decided to be uncooperative. Took 3 needles, 1/2 hour and 2 nurses to get good vein. If getting the good vein keeps the pain away in a week, then its worth it! I want to have another good week after I recover here!
gonna keep this short as my brain isn't reaching the keyboard to well... thank goodness for spellcheck!
Oh... PET scan next week... looking forward to some good results!!
Half way done killing this beast inside me!
Treatment today was not as smooth as my other times. My veins decided to be uncooperative. Took 3 needles, 1/2 hour and 2 nurses to get good vein. If getting the good vein keeps the pain away in a week, then its worth it! I want to have another good week after I recover here!
gonna keep this short as my brain isn't reaching the keyboard to well... thank goodness for spellcheck!
Oh... PET scan next week... looking forward to some good results!!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Had a very good week!
So the past week has been a good one for me! It seems so weird to be writing that after the past 6 weeks beforehand not being all that pleasant, even in my good week!
So this week I had zero pain!! Woohoo!!! And my energy levels seemed to be higher than before as well. That may be in part that I was not in pain!
So today I spent a couple hours out scrapbooking after I went to the gym to say hi to my old workout buddies! It was nice to say hi to everyone, even though I couldn't stay and work out. That is a part of my life I really miss right now.
Been out shopping a few times over the week as well which has been fun! I found a great new scarf for my head too!
Oh, yea, my mother looked at my hair the other night and says " you look like a porcupine with a haircut" We all laughed so hard! So here is the porcupine hair!
I look so much balder on these pictures!! Or maybe the mirror lies to me, lol
So all in all I did have a good week. People are amazed at how good I look and how well I am tolerating treatment. The bad days are bad, I know that, as do my close friends and family. But this week the good days were really good!
So this week I had zero pain!! Woohoo!!! And my energy levels seemed to be higher than before as well. That may be in part that I was not in pain!
So today I spent a couple hours out scrapbooking after I went to the gym to say hi to my old workout buddies! It was nice to say hi to everyone, even though I couldn't stay and work out. That is a part of my life I really miss right now.
Been out shopping a few times over the week as well which has been fun! I found a great new scarf for my head too!
Oh, yea, my mother looked at my hair the other night and says " you look like a porcupine with a haircut" We all laughed so hard! So here is the porcupine hair!
So all in all I did have a good week. People are amazed at how good I look and how well I am tolerating treatment. The bad days are bad, I know that, as do my close friends and family. But this week the good days were really good!
Monday, September 19, 2011
I am slowly going crazy....
or is that fastly going crazy! I am going absolutely bonkers right now. My mind is back to racing and wanting to do all the stuff I used to be able to do. The body is back in un-cooperate mode. This makes for me going stir crazy!!!
I have not been sleeping well at night, everything and anything seems to wake me up now... very annoying to say the least! And then during the day I cannot sleep (never have been able to), so I feel like I am at the losing end of the battle here.
All I want to do is something!! But I have zero energy!! Im tired of sitting on the couch!! AHHHHHHH
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR
OK, that makes me feel a little better.
Oh, and on another note... chemo brain, yep, it does exist!
I have not been sleeping well at night, everything and anything seems to wake me up now... very annoying to say the least! And then during the day I cannot sleep (never have been able to), so I feel like I am at the losing end of the battle here.
All I want to do is something!! But I have zero energy!! Im tired of sitting on the couch!! AHHHHHHH
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR
OK, that makes me feel a little better.
Oh, and on another note... chemo brain, yep, it does exist!
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