Well I had my official first scare of treatment.
Friday night I went to bed and noticed it was getting difficult to breathe. It was a very heavy feeling, and well, just plan not right. I mentioned to hubby and said if this doesnt get better, I should get checked out with all the side effects you may encounter from chemo. (Bleo can cause lung damage) And I was concerned with infection, which we would want to catch early.
So we wake up saturday morning and its the same... dammit I feel, guess we really should get this checked out. So we head over to the local emergency where we get to spend the next 3 hours. After talking with the dr., he orders a chest x-ray, lots of bloodwork and an EKG, my heartrate was 118 when I came in.
Good news... everything came back good, even my heart! He checked for blood clots, and kidney function, infections, everything he could think of. But we still have no idea what caused this. He thought it might be viral, which means it will run its course. Advised me to come back in if it got worse or signs of infection developed. Happy to report its getting better. Still not normal, but much better!
So thats was my first, and hopefully my last scare during treatment!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...
but its a dark tunnel to get through still. Thats about how I feel right now. The end is just around the corner, so close I can almost taste it. It just this yucky stuff I need to get through that make the tunnel so dark.
As for my 7th infusion, pretty uneventful compared to last one that I still have a bump from. The Dr. figures its a ruptured vein, and will resolve itself eventually. The problems I did encounter this time were getting my bloodwork done the day before. I had never had bloodwork problem, but she couldn't find a vein and I would not let her at my good side. It needed to be free for the infusion the next day. So she ended up doing a butterfly in my hand, which worked, just a little more painful! Oh, and my infusion took 5.5 hours because we had to wait 45 minutes for the evil drug to arrive! At least my nurse got the vein on the first time and all drugs went in smoothly. We all tell ourselves that we just need my veins to co-operate one more time...
ONE MORE TIME...
ONE MORE TIME...
yep, its good to say that...
I will write at another point on the feelings of being close to being done, but not today... im getting tired, and surprisingly there mixed emotions at being done... since sure, im done chemo soon... but am I even actually done cancer? Food for thought...
As for my 7th infusion, pretty uneventful compared to last one that I still have a bump from. The Dr. figures its a ruptured vein, and will resolve itself eventually. The problems I did encounter this time were getting my bloodwork done the day before. I had never had bloodwork problem, but she couldn't find a vein and I would not let her at my good side. It needed to be free for the infusion the next day. So she ended up doing a butterfly in my hand, which worked, just a little more painful! Oh, and my infusion took 5.5 hours because we had to wait 45 minutes for the evil drug to arrive! At least my nurse got the vein on the first time and all drugs went in smoothly. We all tell ourselves that we just need my veins to co-operate one more time...
ONE MORE TIME...
ONE MORE TIME...
yep, its good to say that...
I will write at another point on the feelings of being close to being done, but not today... im getting tired, and surprisingly there mixed emotions at being done... since sure, im done chemo soon... but am I even actually done cancer? Food for thought...
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
3/4 done...
so Im now done my 3rd cycle. I really wish the process got easier each time, but no, with chemo, everything gets worse each time.
Infusion was an event this time. Even my good nurse had problems with veins... not good... we finally found one that was co-operating. Or so we thought. Enter the evil drug, and it starts to hurt. So I mention this and we up the saline. That made it worse... that has never happened, saline is my magical cure all for pain! SO she comes back and shuts the drug off, slows the saline to a crawl, looks at my vein and says its a good vein, but I think its too small for the load. Guess what that means... yep... over to the other arm we go. This is the comical part for me. She left the original IV in my left arm while she put the right one in (with zero problems I may add). So here I am sitting in the chair, hooked up to an IV in each arm! I told her she did a great job of tying me up, I was going nowhere! So after the right side is going, no pain, the left gets disconnected and we are good to go for the next 2.5 hours of the nasty one. I really hate that final drug I tell ya.
So the last 2 infusions have not been as nice side effect wise either. The ickyness has gotten really bad, even nauseous on a day or two. I did try my rescue meds this time around, but I don't think they helped that much. Not as good as the other stuff I get for the day after, thats for sure.
The countdown is one. ONE CYCLE (2 treatments) to go!! I am so ready to be done with it all! I want to wake up with energy, get back to the gym, live my life!!
On a side note, hubby is home on vaca this week and we (read mostly he) are redoing the kids rooms! Got the boys done today, so now its onto the girls room! So much fun :)
Infusion was an event this time. Even my good nurse had problems with veins... not good... we finally found one that was co-operating. Or so we thought. Enter the evil drug, and it starts to hurt. So I mention this and we up the saline. That made it worse... that has never happened, saline is my magical cure all for pain! SO she comes back and shuts the drug off, slows the saline to a crawl, looks at my vein and says its a good vein, but I think its too small for the load. Guess what that means... yep... over to the other arm we go. This is the comical part for me. She left the original IV in my left arm while she put the right one in (with zero problems I may add). So here I am sitting in the chair, hooked up to an IV in each arm! I told her she did a great job of tying me up, I was going nowhere! So after the right side is going, no pain, the left gets disconnected and we are good to go for the next 2.5 hours of the nasty one. I really hate that final drug I tell ya.
So the last 2 infusions have not been as nice side effect wise either. The ickyness has gotten really bad, even nauseous on a day or two. I did try my rescue meds this time around, but I don't think they helped that much. Not as good as the other stuff I get for the day after, thats for sure.
The countdown is one. ONE CYCLE (2 treatments) to go!! I am so ready to be done with it all! I want to wake up with energy, get back to the gym, live my life!!
On a side note, hubby is home on vaca this week and we (read mostly he) are redoing the kids rooms! Got the boys done today, so now its onto the girls room! So much fun :)
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Enjoying my good days
So thats what I have been up to. Quite honestly im getting tired of the same type of blogs coming out. Its good, then bad, repeat. Its annoying to write, so im sure its annoying to read! So im not blogging as much. I am getting through the bad days as best I can, and trying to enjoy my good days to the fullest.
So in part of those good days, I went to vancouver with my hubby for the night. He was going work related, so I just tagged along. We had a great night last night watching the hockey game, even though our beloved Canucks didn't win. We were glad we didnt end up forking over way too much money for tickets though. We would love to go and see a game, but for some reason has super expensive tickets!|So we watched the game and had dinner instead. It was nice to get out, and not too overwhelming (well it was as first when it was super busy when we arrived, but it did quiet down as people left to go to the game, since we were only a couple blocks away from all the action)
This morning I woke up and relaxed a little, then went over to the shopping center for a couple hours. It was nice to get out and feel human, especially since my rough days are getting rougher! We stayed at an amazing hotel, and that was a great experience itself!
So im just heading into my good week, and I feel pretty darn good... might try to do something fun this weekend as well!
So in part of those good days, I went to vancouver with my hubby for the night. He was going work related, so I just tagged along. We had a great night last night watching the hockey game, even though our beloved Canucks didn't win. We were glad we didnt end up forking over way too much money for tickets though. We would love to go and see a game, but for some reason has super expensive tickets!|So we watched the game and had dinner instead. It was nice to get out, and not too overwhelming (well it was as first when it was super busy when we arrived, but it did quiet down as people left to go to the game, since we were only a couple blocks away from all the action)
This morning I woke up and relaxed a little, then went over to the shopping center for a couple hours. It was nice to get out and feel human, especially since my rough days are getting rougher! We stayed at an amazing hotel, and that was a great experience itself!
So im just heading into my good week, and I feel pretty darn good... might try to do something fun this weekend as well!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Past the half-way mark!
Yeah!! 5 down, 3 to go... I CAN DO THIS!!!
I had issues with my veins again. Starting to argue with my nurses a little about it. They are insisting that my veins are not going to make it. They want a PICC line or a port installed. I do not want either of these. I dont want the PICC because the dressing need changed every week, and handling the appointments I currently have is enough. The port I do not want because its more surgery. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!! So this is now a little battle. I keep reminding them I onlt have 3 treatments left. I do not need these things. Just deal with the veins I have! My nurse yesterday was really bad. And she didnt listen to me. Not helpful. I have 4 pokes in my arm this time. Im not sure what she was thinking to begin with. My cocktail is very strong and needs a good vein to start with. When she put the warm towel on to start, it was over my hand, so I mentioned we go up the arm, and showed her how high. |So she moved the towel a bit and just said it all had to get warm anyways. So I show her the area we need to find a vein. She did 2 pokes with no success, so then goes lower and pokes me. I then have to tell her again we cannot go that low because it causes the intense arm pain for a week a week after treatment! So finally she calls the other nurse over, who checks both sides, finds the side she like best, and with one poke is in a good higher vein! I am getting really annoyed with the nurses who dont know where to go or refuse to let anyone else try before they do. As far as im concerned, leave it to the ones who know where my veins are. Grrr... just had to vent a bit there!
So, 3 more treatments, then I learn the follow-up plan, which sounds pretty intensive for at least the first year, which is great, and I will be closely watched for the rest of my life! Looking forward to a big celebration when all is said and done, including a trip to the tropics in the new year if everything works out with babysitters!
I had issues with my veins again. Starting to argue with my nurses a little about it. They are insisting that my veins are not going to make it. They want a PICC line or a port installed. I do not want either of these. I dont want the PICC because the dressing need changed every week, and handling the appointments I currently have is enough. The port I do not want because its more surgery. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!! So this is now a little battle. I keep reminding them I onlt have 3 treatments left. I do not need these things. Just deal with the veins I have! My nurse yesterday was really bad. And she didnt listen to me. Not helpful. I have 4 pokes in my arm this time. Im not sure what she was thinking to begin with. My cocktail is very strong and needs a good vein to start with. When she put the warm towel on to start, it was over my hand, so I mentioned we go up the arm, and showed her how high. |So she moved the towel a bit and just said it all had to get warm anyways. So I show her the area we need to find a vein. She did 2 pokes with no success, so then goes lower and pokes me. I then have to tell her again we cannot go that low because it causes the intense arm pain for a week a week after treatment! So finally she calls the other nurse over, who checks both sides, finds the side she like best, and with one poke is in a good higher vein! I am getting really annoyed with the nurses who dont know where to go or refuse to let anyone else try before they do. As far as im concerned, leave it to the ones who know where my veins are. Grrr... just had to vent a bit there!
So, 3 more treatments, then I learn the follow-up plan, which sounds pretty intensive for at least the first year, which is great, and I will be closely watched for the rest of my life! Looking forward to a big celebration when all is said and done, including a trip to the tropics in the new year if everything works out with babysitters!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Doing the happy dance!
That sums up today!
Went to the dr. for my pre-cycle check up and PET results. The scan was clean! No signs on cancer! Can you say WooHoo!!!
So now we just keep on the same plan, 2 more cycles of chemo (4 treatments, 2 more months) and I am done!
Its nice to know that all this crap I have been going through is working! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. It is a bright, shining light that says your done!
Dinner is ready so im keeping this short!
Chemo again tomorrow... but its worth it!!!
Went to the dr. for my pre-cycle check up and PET results. The scan was clean! No signs on cancer! Can you say WooHoo!!!
So now we just keep on the same plan, 2 more cycles of chemo (4 treatments, 2 more months) and I am done!
Its nice to know that all this crap I have been going through is working! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. It is a bright, shining light that says your done!
Dinner is ready so im keeping this short!
Chemo again tomorrow... but its worth it!!!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Can I get off the rollercoaster now?
WOW.... thats about all I can say. Its hard to believe that my 1/2 scan is this week. The time has gone by a lot faster than I expected, but man am I going through the ringer. All weekend I have wanted to blog, but not had the energy. I had another breakdown over the weekend as well. This all really sucks! It seems when im good, im really quite good, but when im bad... OMG watch out!!
So hence the roller coaster I would like to get off. I didn't realize how cyclic everything would be. |But my life right now is exactly like living on a roller coaster, but I cant get off of it yet. Big ups followed by the crashes towards earth going 100 mph and screaming for dear life, only to get lifted up once again. Its really tough to live your life whilst on a roller coaster. At least I know when the ups and downs should be, so I can try to accommodate my life around those.
The fatigue is lasting longer these days, which really sucks. Instead of a bad Saturday, I now have a bad weekend :( This is not fair to me or my family, but we deal. (or in my case I flip out and start throwing things and banging doors and acting like a 3 year old!) But I found it helped to let out the anger and cry for a while. Needed a release I suppose!
Heading over to the mainland on Thursday for my PET scan. I know a lot of people get really anxious at this point, but so far im chill. I|f its a bad scan we move on the plan B, if its good it means 2 more months on the roller coaster. But I find to worry about it will solve nothing, probably just make me crazy, so why bother worrying about something you can\t change!
Hubby is taking me over and we are going to stay overnight. For one it will be nice to escape for a night, 2, we are bringing my sister home for thanksgiving, 3, its too long of a day for me to go over, get my scan, get back on one day!!
\Hope to get some shopping in while we are in the city, and maybe hit up the casino if I feel up to it! Then we will come home and have a nice thanksgiving weekend!
Ok, I think thats all for now... the roller coaster has already crashed down so now we are making our war back up to the top!
So hence the roller coaster I would like to get off. I didn't realize how cyclic everything would be. |But my life right now is exactly like living on a roller coaster, but I cant get off of it yet. Big ups followed by the crashes towards earth going 100 mph and screaming for dear life, only to get lifted up once again. Its really tough to live your life whilst on a roller coaster. At least I know when the ups and downs should be, so I can try to accommodate my life around those.
The fatigue is lasting longer these days, which really sucks. Instead of a bad Saturday, I now have a bad weekend :( This is not fair to me or my family, but we deal. (or in my case I flip out and start throwing things and banging doors and acting like a 3 year old!) But I found it helped to let out the anger and cry for a while. Needed a release I suppose!
Heading over to the mainland on Thursday for my PET scan. I know a lot of people get really anxious at this point, but so far im chill. I|f its a bad scan we move on the plan B, if its good it means 2 more months on the roller coaster. But I find to worry about it will solve nothing, probably just make me crazy, so why bother worrying about something you can\t change!
Hubby is taking me over and we are going to stay overnight. For one it will be nice to escape for a night, 2, we are bringing my sister home for thanksgiving, 3, its too long of a day for me to go over, get my scan, get back on one day!!
\Hope to get some shopping in while we are in the city, and maybe hit up the casino if I feel up to it! Then we will come home and have a nice thanksgiving weekend!
Ok, I think thats all for now... the roller coaster has already crashed down so now we are making our war back up to the top!
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