Had a very rough night last night. Started with an emotional breakdown at bedtime. Just going through my normal bedtime routine and I start crying. No real reason except that I am 31 with cancer, and it sucks!! I guess that enough to make anyone breakdown every once and awhile.
If that wasn't bad enough, I had insomia, which lead to a crappy 4 hours of split sleep... damn drugs! And while I was awake I had heartburn, damn spaghetti, lol
So today my head is doing ok, but man am I tired.
I started a book last night that was recommended. Its called 'Everything Changes - the insiders guide to cancer in your 20s and 30s'. So far its good, but not something I can sit and read cover to cover, but its nice to hear other peoples stories and know you are not alone in all the challenges you face while dealing with cancer so young.
And on the young note, still the youngest around getting treatment. The others receiving treatment have at least 20 years on me... at this point I don't know if they are looking at me cause im young or if its the mohawk, lol...
I wonder if the steroids they give us to take after chemo make us more emotional (in addition to all the crap we deal with that is chemo - which is no picnic). There have been times during my treatment when I've been way more emotional than normal too. I sure won't apologize for feeling sad at times - everyone needs to let their feelings out once in a while.
ReplyDeleteI have always been a very emotional person. My dr. said she would be worried about me if I didn't have emotions right now, that would be a cause for concern. I figured I had been tear free for a couple weeks so it was time to release the gates for a release, lol...
ReplyDeleteI think its the damn steroid thats interfering with my sleep though!